I just found out that my good friend, G, is having a boy. I’m stoked to find out that we will both have baby boys; Y is going to have a playmate for sure!
After that brief conversation with her, I reminisced the first months of having Y. Believe me; it was NOT love at first sight. You should consider that I didn’t see him immediately after I gave birth for two reasons. One reason is that I gave birth via CS operation. The second reason is that he had to be examined for almost a week because he ate his meconium — or poop.
Yes, I wasn’t kidding when I said it was not love at first sight. Television advertises these months as months full of love, where you see the parents looking dreamily at their newborn baby when she sleeps. No way, Jose! During those months, I barely had enough time to brush my teeth, let alone look dreamily at Y.
It wasn’t love at first sight. I breathe a sigh of relief when he sleeps because that means I could finally have my lunch — at 4pm. Breastfeeding was not my friend because it really hurt at first. For more than two months, sleep means a three-hour stretch at night with occasional feedings in between. And if Y had his way, that means no sleep at all.
It wasn’t love at first sight. If it was, I wouldn’t spend most nights crying with Y. When he cries, I feel so helpless that I could only cry with him. As they say, if you can’t beat them, join them. I can joke about it now, but I really, honestly never felt as worse then. What made the experience even harder was the fact that Y’s father was not with me — another story for another day.
It wasn’t love at first sight. The income that you once thought was more than enough suddenly couldn’t last for another week. You have to buy diapers (a ton!), baby clothes, and if you’re formula-feeding, pricey formula milk. As a breastfeeding mom, I didn’t escape the expenses, too, as I needed to buy a breast pump and bottles. And what would eat the remainder of your income are the never-ending vaccinations and trips to the doctor.
It wasn’t love at first sight. During the early months, Y was a terribly colicky baby. Don’t be fooled; colic doesn’t mean gas. It won’t go away when you burp the baby a million times each day. It won’t go when you use specially-designed bottles that cost a fortune. It will only go away when the baby’s body decides to. And I just couldn’t wait until it’s over.
Thankfully, it went away when Y turned 4 months old. These days, he only cries when he’s hungry, sleepy, or bored — the usual culprits. This post is not meant to scare my friend or any new or future moms who might be reading this. This is supposed to give them a reality check and prepare them for the real deal. Having a newborn is not all coos and cuddles; in fact, those will barely happen. It’s a time that will test your strength and patience as a mother, as a wife, and as a woman.
Yes, it wasn’t love at first sight. However, relationships that go with love at first sight barely last. The best relationships are those with patient courting. By the time I finally fell in love with Y, I fell hard. And I know I’ll never love anyone as much as I love this poop machine.