I just realized I no longer have trouble referring to myself as a mom. At first, it was awkward, but I guess that’s what happens after five months of diaper-changing and exclusive breastfeeding.
I work full-time as an online essay tutor. I wasn’t kidding when I work as a grammar Nazi; I make a living out of pointing out other people’s grammar mistakes. Now, while waiting for essays to appear on my queue, I read other people’s blogs. More often than not, these are other moms’ blogs. Lately, I’ve been reading posts talking about separation anxiety and how hard it is to return to work after two months (more or less) of maternity leave. That’s two months of being with your baby 24/7. These posts make me realize that I made the right decision when I resigned from my office last March to work at home full-time. These stories also me realize how lucky I am to be able to find a well-paying job that I could do at home.
Even though I employ a stay-in yaya (the Filipino version of a nanny), I am very hands-on with Y. I co-sleep* with Y so my day begins with us going downstairs to wake everyone up – that is, if he doesn’t wake up late. After breakfast, I sit down to work on my laptop while I reluctantly hand over Y to his yaya.
I work (and surf the internet a bit) until Y cries. That’s my signal to finish my work quickly so that I can get Y from the yaya and breastfeed him. Yes, 5 months later and I’m still at Y’s beck and call. I can imagine myself 5 years later, still at his beck and call. The life of me as a doormat mom. Anyway, I digress again.
After breastfeeding Y, I reluctantly hand him over to yaya (again). The day goes on with 3 or 4 breastfeeding breaks and a lunch break for both of us (yaya and me). At 5pm (or whenever I’m done), I get Y and we play, cuddle, have a crying fest, and do whatever the little astronaut thinks of. After dinner, we settle down in my bed and sleep.*
Because I work at home, I can breastfeed Y directly. I can also take a break anytime I feel like playing with him. I never feel guilty for working full-time because he always sees me. For 5 months, I have never been away from Y for too long, and I’m really thankful we can have this great setup. 🙂
* I co-sleep with Y because I’m paranoid. I don’t want to get out of bed just to see if he’s breathing properly. Also, his crib is too big for the bedroom, so we just use it as a changing table.